i am 99% sure i am getting my first kiss on friday/peter’s birthday
hELP
Emily, don’t even worry about it. You’re going to be great, he’s going to be great, everything’s going to be gr8
A couple remarks:
Don’t let the anticipation consume you. Kissing is almost instinctive, it’ll happen naturally, I promise. Don’t over-think it, just go with the flow.
General tips:
Take kissing for what it is, don’t have specific expectations. There are a lot of variations on kissing and what constitutes as a kiss. It could be one quick sweet lip lock, it could be several, it could last any number of seconds/minutes, it may or may not involve tongue. And don’t put pressure on yourself to be a “good” kisser or whatever. He’s not dating you because you’re the world’s greatest kisser 2012, he’s dating you because he likes you and he cares about you. And that’s what will make the experience great.
Realize that you’re in control and let him know what you are or are not comfortable with. Like I said, kissing is a broad term and people have different comfort zones. If he decides to French kiss (With tongue) almost immediately after the first kiss, and you’re not ready for it, stop him and let him know. And if you are comfortable with it, that’s perfectly fine, too, play it by ear and follow his lead. Same goes for touching, if he starts to feel you up a little, let him know if you’re comfortable or not comfortable with it. Most of the time, it’s not intentional that we do things you may not be ready for, we just need to know limits. That goes for girls, too, so if you get carried away or something and he’s not ready for it, I’m sure he’ll let you know. But at the same time, don’t bring heavy attention to something you don’t like/aren’t ready for yet to the point where it gets embarrassing. For example, if he tries French kissing and you’re not ready yet, just tell him that. If you make a huge scene like “OMG YOU CRAZY PERVERTED MOTHERFUCKER” then it’s going to severely halt any further sexual progress later on because he’ll be afraid to ever advance from kissing. So just let him know when you are and aren’t ready for things as time goes on.
Embrace awkward moments you may encounter (if any). Now there’s a good chance that the kissing will go perfectly and it’ll be like a romcom and everything you’ve ever dreamed of. But there may also be a chance where an awkward moment may arise, maybe you might lightly bump noses or something. Don’t let that affect you, learn to laugh these things off and realize they’re not a big deal - because they’re not. Awkward moments happen all the time, have fun with it!
Talk. After/during kissing sessions, let him know what you like and don’t like. If he’s going too fast/being too aggressive, let him know. And if he’s too reserved, let him know that he can loosen up and relax. And emphasize what you do like, if you like the way he caresses your face or touches your waist or something, let him know! Or if you think he’s a good kisser, let him know! If it’s during a kissing session, whisper these things to him, it’s incredibly seductive and ego boosting, trust me. Kissing and love making isn’t just about fulfilling sexual needs, that’s what separates us from most animals. We care a lot about our partners, we love to know when we do something right, and we love to make the other person feel amazing. Talking about what you do and don’t like can improve future sessions, where he can do more of the things you said you liked and not do any of the things you said you didn’t like. And vice-versa, you can always ask him what kind of things he likes.
Close your eyes as you lean in for the kiss, and slightly tilt your head to match his (Almost always, you tilt to the right, unless they decide to switch it up by going left and making you go left - but that’s usually only after longer kissing sessions to have some variety). As far as lips go, you usually tend to overlap each other’s lips, so either his upper lip or bottom lip will be between both of yours or your mouths will match up evenly and your right and his right will make like a diaganol…idk it’s not really something that can be typed out or explained properly. Just trust me, when the moment comes, you’ll know what to do and what feels natural and comfortable.
If it’s not a quick lip lock, and you find yourself kissing for a while, be sure to pull away slightly every so often to give yourself time to breathe, otherwise you’ll probably start to breathe through your mouth while kissing, which can be a little strange. It also builds good anticipation, and a chance for you both to open your eyes briefly to see the reaction on each other’s faces. Take the time you use when pulling away to give a sly smile and let them notice you smiling. I know that sounds kinda silly and stupid but it really does make you feel good and it’s appealing to your partner that you’re showing that you like it and them and it makes them smile and smiling in between kisses is…kind of seductive, I think. Then when you’re ready, you can both lean in for the next kiss.
This may not be a problem for you, but if your lips get a little dry, it’s good to have lip balm and to apply it before kissing, but not right before, usually in the morning or give it a couple hours. As far as watching what you eat and drink - milk, juice, most junk food (like pizzas and garlic breads) and meats will affect your mouth the most, but it’s silly to try and avoid everything. You can still eat those things, just make sure you’re aware of it and how much of it you’re eating, and drink water often, and keep it handy so you can clear out your mouth and neutralize the other things you eat/drink. And of course brushing and stuff is important, but there’s no need to constantly brush after everything you eat or whatever, the standard once in the morning and once at night should suffice just fine.
Depending on how quickly you get comfortable with each other sexually and how quickly you progress, you may find yourself planning “sessions” in addition to little spontaneous things here and there, and these sessions can end up being a lot more intimate and exciting without actual sexual intercourse or direct genital contact or even contact with the genitals at all. A good example would be prolonged kissing/make-outs, kissing other areas (such as neck, chest or stomach area, etc), feeling each other up, PG-13 removal of clothing (Shirts, maybe pants), dry humping…the list goes on. There’s a lot of very fun and sexually stimulating things you can do even if you or him are not ready or just don’t want to do actual sex related stuff. And if/when that time ever does come (puns!), well that will probably warrant a whole new long rambly wall of text from me. But if/when you do get around to doing the things mentioned above, it might be a neat idea to add music when you’re doing them. I know this might not be for everyone, and you may find that you don’t care for music when you’re doing these things, which is fine. But for me, music has always been a huge part of…that part of my life and for me (and a lot of others, I’m sure), it’s incredibly emotionally stimulating and improves the moment for me. A lot of the time, it really helps set and keep the mood. If it is something you’re interested in, try and pick songs together or toss around a couple ideas back and forth of intimate songs you both might enjoy making love to. If you’re interested, I have a large playlist of songs specifically made for the purpose of making love, so if you want, I could share them with you and you can share it with him and discuss songs you like and don’t like. Oh, there’s also common household items you can use as toys, and toys specifically made for things like this…but um okay now I’m just getting carried away.
I’m sure you could read a thousand things that’ll tell you how to do this or that, what to do or not do with your mouth or hands or whatever. But it’s all trivial. It shouldn’t be something complicated that you have to think about or something you have to “do right”. When the moment arises, just enjoy it for what it is and who you’re with.
Because at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that you’re doing it with someone you like who likes you back. Everything else will fall into place.
Have fun bb, I’m happy for you <3
(Jeez looking back at this post, I seriously went overboard, sorry, I think I might be even more excited for this kiss than you are!)
